Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition)

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The protocol is simple. During the test, a sort of vapor of nanoparticles is emitted, so that we can detect the evolution of these emotions without noxious intrusion. They told me so What am I to do now with the life of agreable fakery that binds me, in claimed feebleness, to things and to people, to suspect humanity. We could wonder about this Log is so cheap Here everything comes together and interlocks. Step right up, Boys, Girls, and Androgynes Let yourself get carried away, to see and tell what connects us, the people behind this Log , but also all the rest, the ones who stir up trouble and take shelter in these friendly, territorial, womblike refuges where you can circle around in the ill winds that blow through congregations and metropolises, in all those places, those little hotspots.

It comes in the form of a human group, a re-peopling of the social structure in the form of a dream. A dream of social climates, empty lots, existing forms of nature and people and enhanced intimacy. It alters what exists, it marks out vanishing lines, subjectivities, it throbs in the form of local stories and languages, little tales, the stuff of fables and narratives garnered by tacking together and tinkering.

Not really ready to buckle under and keep its mouth shut. Eventually, the weed gets the upper hand Grass is the only way out The weed exists only to fill the waste spaces left by cultivated areas. It grows between , among other things. The lily is beautiful, the cabbage is provender, the poppy is maddening — but the weed is rank growth It tinkers, recycles, reconstructs in all historical senses of the term.

The rhizomatic bad seed sown by the two philosopher friends that stocks us up again. It proceeds by variation, expansion, and conquest, via crossing points, recycling, adaptation, capture, embrace, tweaking When everything has once and for all suddenly descended into anything goes, the deep freeze, urban guerilla warfare, and the rest of the whole shamozzle, there remains that sixth sense, nerve endings and defensive reflexes. It lives in broad daylight, not in the shadows, because the shadows are a refuge for jumpy activists living in the comfort of their ideals Quite the opposite R2 [7] In this violent antagonism, within the hollow of this personal disorder, this personal confict, we are facing two worlds facing each other: WEF versus WSF, Davos [8] versus Porto Alegre [9] How can the architect, artist, scientist, writer, and citizen absorb, swallow, and digest this Janus-like condition without favoring one over the other?

Log 25 explores ways to navigate this antagonism, which could be negotiated in an un certain and ambiguous manner Contradictorily, the discipline of architecture in the time of now feigns ignorance of this genuine conflict, and concurrently legitimizes more and more its identity, or the illusion of an identity, at a condition of noninvasive, nonsubversive, nonpolemic, nonpolitical consequences. It is only in strategies of conflict, opposition, indignation, and occupation that the capitalist structure, an ectoplasm with an adaptable and variable geometry and contours, agrees to renegotiate its transactional modes But for this malleability to operate, we first have to run the risk of confronting it, causing it to crack, biting it, in close combat, using tactical strategies of visibility and fallback This particular form of masochism, which is not so much masochism as it is acceptance of the sadism of the system, is actually, height of irony, seen as In these conditions, and by default, it would be prudent to ask ourselves about the legal framework of such a submission, of the protocols of Sacher-Masoch, and even to define the mechanisms of exchange, domination, enslavement, eroticization and suffering, as a potentially contractual support element of this same transaction This is what the ecosophy of things, substances, and beings is A last vestige of a time when nature did not allow itself to be tamed or ruled Faced with the autistic, blind, deaf and dumb violence of our mechanisms of technological, industrial, mercantile, and human domination, nature reacts Gaia seems to take its revenge.

The Forum organizes its annual meeting in Davos, a mountain resort in the eastern Alps region of Switzerland. The meeting brings together some 2, top business leaders, international political leaders, selected intellectuals and journalists to discuss the most pressing issues facing the world… as it should be. Some consider the WSF to be a physical manifestation of global civil society, as it brings together NGO, advocacy campaigns as well as formal and informal social movements seeking international solidarity.

The WSF prefers to define itself as "an opened space — plural, diverse, nongovernmental, and nonpartisan — that stimulates the decentralized debate, reflection, building exchange, and alliances among movements and organizations engaged in concrete actions toward a more democratic and fair world This coping may result in the individual "bouncing back" to a previous state of normal functioning, or using the experience of exposure to adversity to produce a "steeling effect" and function better than expected. Resilience is most commonly understood as a process, not as a trait of an individual.

Yet this new designer is very different from the old. Jean Khalfa London: Routledge, It is no innocent matter, either, that the critical systems in charge of questioning their validity simply offer them a helping hand, fascinated by the power that these great strategists grant them in return for their dependence. But the new world knows only resistance. When I bend in order to avoid accepting the rules of their authority, I am destroying the foundations, I am insulting their legitimacy. There is rage in the face of my madness, a ferocious rage as if they found themselves faced with an act of revolt.

Timothy S. Murphy Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, Timothy J. Armstrong New York: Routledge, Unsure which way to go, it has vascillated between the moral conservatism of the baby boomers and the forward thrust of Gucci-style consumption. The false footsteps of Bibendum the Michelin tyre man in the dirty dust of the moon that day in July marked an end to our entropic flights of fancy. The books of Neal Stephenson, William Gibson, Bruce Sterling and others, while marketed as speculative fiction, were in fact live broadcasts; the funhouse mirror that the genre tended to create, between the space of the imagination and the space of our daily lives, expanded throughout a universe of plausibilities.

It melted into the news, in all its social dimensions. Astonishingly, Science fiction has shifted neither forward nor rearward, but into the here and now. The unfolding scenarios it follows to manipulate our reality are becoming true transformation tools and paradoxically strategic levers to grasp the wobbling of our post-digital societies: our choked mass-media culture. To reclaim the scenarios and substances that condition architecture and reveal the contradictions and fantasies that drive our societies, we need, on the contrary, to draw on this vibrating, disquieting and voluptuous temporality.

It can only be negotiated live, in its contingency on a situation and its solubility in a set of givens. This critical and territorialised attitude is in sharp contrast to macro-cynical flights of fancy the market creates the form! Our tools for the codification and transformation of territories do not work through an ideal projection, but through a local inventory: a mutant and tangible biotope, issued from the generalised bankruptcy of urban thought 11 and its deception.

This ambiguity gives rise to our unstable and unique scenarios. The folded rhizomes of Guattari and Deleuze were a point of fusion and arborescence to attain a plateau, 12 a terra incognita, to break out of the grip of those who declared that they had discursive, pedagogic and linear authority. Science fictional 13 architecture is not a cultural remake of the Altered States 14 variety for the elite. Recognising the new principles of reality, it is a space of confrontation, ceaselessly investing itself in new procedures for the reprogramming and re-scripting 15 of existence, here and now.

By necessity, it confronts its emergence, its Gestalt, and can only be negotiated in the visible spectrum: that is its political and operational condition. We can only harvest its often strange fruits. The following apparatuses have to be considered as a few paradigms to approach and touch narrative and subjective protocols. Machines have been always pretending to do more than what they were programmed to do.

It is their nature. Their behaviour alternates phantasms, frustrations and fears inspired by their own ability to break free and threaten us. Machines are a vector of narration, generators of rumour, and at the same time directly operational, with an accurate efficiency of production. In this way, machines become agents of blur logic, of a reactive and reprogrammable logic. In a sense, we should consider the structure itself as a fragment of a scenario, as a MacGuffin: the point where and from which speeches, strategies, scientific protocols and power games articulate stories and agendas.

Without certainty that our history will pass by this point, some of the machines are developing their own necrosis: their predictable death, even their unreality, to bring an intrinsic process of erasing in their emerging nature. In this way, these apparatuses appear through an architecture that seems to come from a transitory strategy: from an operative, fictional and speculative scenario, which rearticulates the relation of a situation with an environment and eventually its own un-reality, re-questioning the values of its identity.

Contemporary history has proved the accuracy of his schizophrenia. In order to track our environment, physical sciences born out of the study of turbulence, vibration, disequilibria and probability have taken the place of the linear sciences where things are viewed as following a quantitative and determinist path.

The conditions for survival at the North Pole, including Soviet nuclear waste materials carried by the Artic Stream and the carbon effluence of the Gulf Stream, have allowed us to observe the first natural mutation. This dual attitude protects us from ecologist alibis, primitivist dreams of purity and of the Heimat, as well as from becoming enslaved to the mechanisms of the tabula rasa.

Architecture consists of revealing these two contradictory dimensions in their constant tension. Reminding us that hell is full of laughter, we could call this cataclysm where everything bad is foretold in dark humour, a black utopia. But, why not? The vulgarity lies in their duplicity. They may be in Lagos, at Prada or at a floating Pavilion, yet they want to lecture us about political consciousness. Another aspect comes from its situation between two different and even contradictory states. Complexity is not driven by autonomy, but by reactivity, and cannot take into account all that surrounds it.

It is in this sense that disturbances of identity, stealth and hybridisation become modes of operation. This is reflected in our own indecisiveness, our inability to choose between options and make do with them. And the hue of the skin of the figure was of the perfect whiteness of the snow.

These were physical facts, not imaginary phenomena … This massive shape the shrouded figure was nothing but a colossal magnet… whose power produced effects as natural as they were terrible. Because of its low altitude and changes in the oceanic water level due to global warming , a plan for its evacuation has been formulated as an objective given.

Beneficent nature had nothing to do with it; conscious human effort, and cooperation, had built Stateless … the balance could be disturbed in a thousand ways …. All that elaborate machinery had to be monitored, had to be understood. It was true. Why would we seek to be right when there are so many people who carry the banner of morality? They are legion, as dangerous and common as criminals. A constantly mutating sequence of possibilities. Add a morsel of a difference and the result slips out of control, shift the location for action and everything is different.

There is a fundamental gap between societies that base their development on scenarios and those that base their development on planning. The architect shoulders the unshared risk of putting out an unprecedented scenario, thus generating a particular and unique configuration. Wearing neither the halo of a Don Quixote nor the mantle of romanticism, this attitude only emerges after sticking his neck all the way out.

You have to give him credit for that. Enslaved by this mode of consumption and distribution, they travel in packs so as to assuage the guilt they feel as predators. Architects corrupt discourse, manipulate competition, make morality their banner and social responsibilities into an amulet or agit-prop. They live and breathe the profound hypocrisy of human nature, with which they are consubstantial.

Space is their playground, their control and coercion lever. Liberal modernity needed a morpho-psychological profile that transcends their alienation to make others — the innumerable — submit to those who know nothing. Architects are also those who metabolize the irreducible novelty of the architect for society as a whole, even if that means the annulment pure and simple of the novelty in question.

Thus architecture undergoes a two-fold process where the architect builds architecture individually by tracing ideas, while only rarely able to make them emerge in the strata of the real. There is a real struggle between the creator and those who vectorize or even copy. The latter sew up the new because it is socially non-metabolizable in its raw form. In short, the imitators come up with a copy that plugs the fissure opened up by things never seen before. Thus there are two kinds of creative activity, creating new things and absorbing them, summarily or maladroitly replicating them, in order to socialize them in a post-consumption universe.

The architect works right in the centre of architectural time, in real time, while architects work in the heart of its history, in delayed time. Thus what is called the history of architecture is really a history of this differed time in architecture. It is because they have been transformed into commodities that new things can be reformatted as products and utilized, annulled, employed, socialized, hijacked, tamed and in general manipulated, especially by media capitalism.

We can assume that there are two antagonistic impulses in architecture, one critical, putting forward things without always being able to build them, and the other collaborationist, appearing and working with the powers that be, the administration and its techno-structural forces. Torn eternally between resistance and collaboration, architecture has two complementary aspects whose constant struggle drives its zigzag, crabwalk movement in space and time.

Thus we can understand its imitative function, deeply rooted in the history of architecture, its treatises, reviews, education and modes of transmission, and recognize it as a necessary evil, or, more precisely, as the other side of the coin which would have no value without it. The imitative function feeds the imitator, sometimes all too well, but more profoundly its relationship with new things is one of dependence, which allows the former to confer a status upon the latter, that of the original in fact.

This is the transfer mechanism, the transaction, without which neither could seek to exist. It seems that our times have invited the two demons to the same cozy dinner party, thus provoking a divorce between the next door and the door after that — a permanent schizophrenia. Similarly, it is tempting to look at the relationship of the body to space, and even more, of bodies in their social relations: not just their interrelation within a given cell, but also their intra-relations as part of an osmosis with others.

It is an investigation into an architecture of uncertainty and indetermination. The groundwork comes from a rereading of the malentendus inherent in the expression of human desire. Those that traverse public space through the ability to express a choice by means of language, on the surface of things, and those that are underlying and perhaps more disturbing but just as valid. By means of the latter we can appraise the body as a desiring machine with its own chemistry: dopamine, hydrocortisone, melatonin, adrenaline and other molecules secreted by the body itself that are imperceptibly anterior to the consciousness these substances generate.

This branch of mathematics was founded by Georg Cantor in the late 19th century. Its aim is to define the concepts of sets and belonging union, inclusion, intersection and disjunction. This theory can be used to describe the structure of each situation as a kind of collective defining the relationships between the parts and the whole, while taking into consideration that the latter is not reducible to the sum of its part or even the ensemble of relationship between the parts.

It is becoming the matrix, the combinations for the relational structure on which an inhabitable space lows for the definition of all the properties of a given situation in relational modes: both the relationships between the elements themselves residential areas and those between these elements and the ensemble or ensembles. It describes morphologies characterised by their dimensions and position in the system and, above all, by the negotiations of distance they carry out with the other parts and as multiple artefacts, produces relational protocols, relational relationships and relational aesthetics: protocols of attraction, repulsion, contiguity, dependence, sharing, indifference, exclusion.

These relational modes are simultaneously elaborated within the residential cell and on its periphery in relation to the neighbouring colonies. The multiplicity of possible physio-morphological layouts based on mathematical formulations offers a variety of habitable patterns in terms of the transfer of the self to the other, and to others as well. The secondary goal of the research, in terms of mathematical development, concerned structural optimisation, defining the structural sustainability of the system as a post-production. The possibility of structure as a logic of resistance,9 emerging a posteriori to become inhabitable morphologies, calls into question the traditional client-architect relationship and offers an alternative way of generating forms.

Emancipated from the conceptual logic where the structure is the starting point, the spatial contract takes the place of the social contract. Since it is conceived a posteriori, the structure is reactive, adaptive to multiplicity, as the permanent discovery of new agencies, entities and singularities. In contrast, the algorithm allows the architectural form to emerge from the trajectories of the transmission of forces simultaneously with the calculation that generates them. The algorithm is based on among other things two mathematical strategies, one taken from the derivative initiated by the research of French mathematician Jacques Hadamard to modify a shape by successive infinitesimal steps, to improve the criteria we want to optimise, as a permanent variation of boundaries and the other from the protocol of the representation of complex shapes by Cartesian meshing through level set to understand locally what could be the line of the highest or lowest resulting point, if we project the local incremental iterative calculus onto a 2-D diagram, to extract the X,Y position in the space as data to be re-injected into the next step of the calculation.

This strategy of incremental and recursive optimisation ex-local, local and hyper-local approaches simultaneously calculates and designs their trajectories, supporting the multiplicity and heterogeneity of physio-morphologies. Following the non-deterministic aggregation of the unpredictable overstacking of desires, the structural branching and coagulation are generated by successive iterations of calculations that physically link the interstices between morphologies so that they can support each other locally and globally. The calculations satisfy precise inputs, including the constraints and characteristics of the materials used, initial conditions, dead load, and the transfer of forces, intensity, and vectorisation of these forces.

The third part of the research was to define a construction protocol able to handle complex, non-standard, non-repetitive geometries through a process of secretion, extrusion and agglutination. This frees the construction procedure from the usual frameworks that are incompatible with a geometry constituted by a series of anomalies and singularities. The key is the development of a secretion and weaving machine that can generate a vertical structure by means of extrusion and sintering full-size 3-D printing using a hybrid raw material a bio-plastic cement that chemically agglomerates to physically constitute the computational trajectories.

This structural calligraphy works like a machinist stereotomy comprised of successive geometrics according to a strategy based on a non-repetitive protocol. This machine, both additive and formative, uses a bio-cement component, a mix of cement and bio-resin developed by the agricultural polymers industry that makes it possible to control the parameters of viscosity, liquidity and polymerisation, and thus produce chemical and physical agglutination at the time of secretion.

The mechanical expertise of this material is made visible by constraints of rupture induced by traction, compression and shearing, and so on. The mathematical process of empirical optimisation makes it possible for the architectural design to react and adapt to previously established constraints, instead of the opposite.

Through the use of these computational, mathematical and mechanisation procedures, the urban structure engenders successive, improbable and uncertain aggregations that constantly rearticulate the relationship between the individual and the collective, between top down and bottom up, and that reactivate the potential for the self-organisation and creativity of the multitude in pursuit of the metabolism developed by Constant Nieuwenhuys and Guy Debord. Like pollens, they are concentrated in the bronchia and attach themselves to the blood vessels.

This location makes it possible for them to detect traces of stress hormones hydrocortisone carried by the haemoglobin. As soon as they come into contact with this substance, the phospholipidic membrane of the NP nanoparticles dissolves and releases several molecules, including formaldehyde H2CO in a gaseous state.

The molecules rejected by the respiratory tract are detected using cavity ring-down spectroscopy CRDS. This is a method of optical analysis using laser beams programmed to a particular frequency, making it possible to measure the density of airborne molecules. The wavelength used for the detection of formaldehyde is around nanometres. Something wanted it that way. I, too, was just an instrument. The world was nothing more than an infinite interweave of instruments. The respite had only lasted for as long as the mirage that it was.

Les Racines du Mal, Maurice G. The architectural object, having claimed authority for four centuries1 has the power of unparalleled destruction of modernity to maturity. But in so doing it signs its own limits and end. Judging each operation on the validity of hypotheses within an enormous assortment of ever increasing facts and artefacts is not an easy task. If architecture did not know or could not substitute for the modern culture of breaking in a culture of place, more attentive to what it was bulldozing, it is that the verse was already in the fruit.

In short, a genetic error The horizons of the world of perception, of corporeality and of place have only too rarely been the mediums of a production. Territorialising2 architecture does not mean cloaking it in the rags of a new fashion or style, which would be just as out of such and separate from the styles and fashions already consumed. Territorialising architecture in order that the place gains a social, cultural and aesthetic3 link means inserting it back into what it might have been on the verge of destroying, and extracting the substance of the construction from the landscape whether urban or otherwise , whether a physical, corporeal substance within it, or climates, materials, perceptions and affects.

It is a process that is renewed at each new place, allowing for an in-situ attitude rather than just another aesthetic code. From that a radical displacement of our function can be born. To identify that which characterises a place is already to interpret it and to put forward a way of operating on it. But linking being to its ecosystem can only save linking the body to the body of architecture.

We had spent several years looking for the instrument that would enable us to explore the minimal act, somewhere the not-much and the just enough, where the territorial change stemming from architecture would be steeped in prior geographies, where the development can work its way in, and embed itself in what it was supposed to dominate, to exacerbate issues of mutation and identity. We were after an instrument that would enable us to introduce strategies of hybridisation and mimesis in the "here and now" of each particular situation. In view of the many different manipulations of history, involving morality and heritage alike, geography and cartography — and not the tracing, as Deleuze and Guattari 6 remind us — have always seemed more operational to us.

But to contrast the already existing site with its future, in an encounter between the image of the exposed context and the image in photomontage that embraces the architectural project, like the demonstration of a processing economy, was not enough for us. We were missing the grasp of the process, in the breakdown of successive hypotheses. The mutations not only never appeared in the movement that had given rise to them, but, even more so, the documents, in the final analysis, could, by virtue of their isolation, be re-interpreted as decontextualized artefacts. The processes of distortion, originating from morphing, and here presented by serial tapes or elsewhere on videotapes, stem from this dearth and open up a field of possibilities.

Over and above a fascination with the technological tool, and with the contrived metamorphosis that it creates, we are exercised by its revelatory and operational function. The more "deceptive" the morphed movement seems, the more inert in its transformation, the more the urban and architectural project seems to be dominated by the prior situation.

The more the morphing can be read in its artifice, the more the projection seems, this time around, to be deterritoralized. Unlike an instrument of representation, morphing thus reveals the degree to which the hypotheses are decontextualized, and in an on-going back-and-forth between deduction and induction, a re-reading of the successive phases will validate or invalidate the relevance of the choices, in a making with to do less strategy 7.

It is no longer a matter of contrasting the project with its context, like two distinct hypotheses, but of linking them together by the actual transformation process. The project is no longer the issue of an abstract projection, but of a distortion of the real. The blank page and the empty screen cannot be. This software calls for a body, a generic physical matrix. The skin 8 of the photographic, cartographic image is transformed and metamorphosed by aspiration Aqua Alta in Venice , by Scrambling Farm in Swiss , by Overflow Restaurant in Japan , by Extrusion and Contraction Tave House and Maido Museum in Reunion Island by folding Soweto museum in South Africa , by growing Pilosity Tower in Paris , by shearing Territory House Barak in France and Rotterdam urbanism … And the pixels, fractal fragments of the real, are put back together again in a series of genetic mutations.

The context is no longer idealised, conceptualised or historicised, it is rather an underlayer of its own transformation. This is a political difference. The virtual instrument paradoxically becomes a principle of reality. A few words of explanation : Morphing lies at the root of a software which makes it possible to merge image A with image B by means of a topological shift of salient dots. With the "Warp" technique, which is a variant of this process, it is possible to produce this alteration, but without being aware of the resulting B.

Image A can thus be easily manipulated, and distorted, when it comes into contact with a programme and a scenario, but it cannot side-step its own matter, it own physicality, by resisting it. And it is this amorphism that is involved here. Einstein demande : - "Quel est ton QI? Einstein demande : "Quel est ton QI? Cris, pleurs, larmes Si ce sont des jumeaux une usine et Et si elle perd l'enfant Le chef de la tribu leur dit: -Demandez nous de vous ramener quelque chose..

Le belge, lui demande un cornet de frite, et une fourchette.. Je l'appelle le test du triple filtre.. Es-tu absolument certain que ce que tu vas me dire est vrai? Je l'ai juste entendu dire.. Ce que tu veux me dire est-il utile pour moi? Ne crois-tu pas qu'il vaudrait mieux, dans ce cas, te taire? Je me tairai donc. C'est aussi du fait de ce genre d'attitude qu'il n'a jamais su que Platon couchait avec sa femme.

Baisser la vitre 3. Introduire la carte bancaire dans le lecteur et encoder le code PIN. Retirer la carte 6. Prendre les billets et le ticket 7. Fermer la vitre 8. C'est rapide cela ne prendra pas beaucoup de votre temps. Soudain vous apercevez G. Qu'est-ce qui est blanc qui tombe du ciel et qui se termine par "ar"? Qu'est-ce qui est blanc qui tombe du ciel et qui se termine par "ir"? Trois hommes sont assis calmement dans un sauna. Comme les autres froncent les sourcils, il leur explique: - "Excusez-moi, je suis en train de recevoir un fax! Un jour Ernest-Antoine longe la piscine.

La mauvaise c'est qu'Ernest-Antoine s'est pendu dans la buanderie avec la ceinture de sa robe de chambre. Un singe rentre dans un bar et demande au barman: - Vous avez des bananes? Si tu me demandes encore si j'ai des bananes je te cloue la langue au comptoir!!!! Je suis en retard d'un mois Madame, vous avez un mois de retard! C'est inscrit sur vos registres? Ce n'est pas bien grave. Il n'en est pas question! Je ne la quitterai jamais, ni maintenant ni plus tard!

Me la couper? Mais qu'est-ce que deviendra ma femme? Toutes les parties du corps faisaient leur travail tandis que le TROU DU CUL dirigeait tout le monde et s'occupait principalement de la merde comme tout chef digne de ce nom. Malheureusement, sans gants je n'ai pas pu jouer avec mes copains dans la neige. Mais je ne t'en veux pas, je sais bien que ce n'est pas de ta faute. Ce n'est pas une raison.. Les deux soeurs Williams sont au vestiaire avant le match. Il parait que ce " steak avec des poils autour..

En Bretagne, on a les deux. Tu n'aurais pas un truc pour que je le sache? J'ai un super truc. Tu vas voir c'est simple. Tu as besoin de peinture rouge de peinture bleue et d'une pelle. Alors tu l'assommes avec la pelle. Ca tombe bien, il avait justement un petit creux. Y'a que le chocolat autour, qu'on aime sucer.. Elle frappe a toute les portes mais il n y a personne.

Je te veux. Elle est superbe et se caresse. Se retourne parfois Elle veut honorer sa tribu D'un beau chapon gras et dodu. Vaudrait-elle un chapon? Il m'en faudrait la preuve pour de bon. Je vous appelle d'une cabine. Tout ce que je voudrais, c'est que vous m'envoyiez un monsieur pour me boucher le petit trou. Une jeune femme : -Mon immatriculation, c'est avec un "Z" comme "Zob". Client : Non! D'un vieux monsieur : On me dit qu'on va me passer quelqu'un et puis j'entends de la musique, alors moi je raccroche. Moi, j'parle pas a d'la musique! Standard : Vous avez une garantie sur cette voiture?

S : -Quand? C'est pour une depannation. Standard : -La voiture a-t-elle plus ou moins d'un an? Client : -Ah non! J'en ai marre, de vos statistiques!! C : -Ah? Vous voulez tous les chiffres? Je suis en panne, rue Salvador Alien 2. S'agirait-il d'une Renault? C : Qu'est-ce que je viens de vous dire!? Client : Une Renault normale. Ma voiture vient de fumer. Du coup, elle refuse d'avancer. Ma voiture a perdu les eaux. De plus de temps en temps se lance un programme occulte virus? Pouvez-vous m'aider? Epouse 1. Vous pouvez aussi vous servir de OuiMonAmour 8. Histoire vraie?

La Malaisie compte plus de Environ C'est l'histoire d'un homme qui vient de se faire laisser par sa femme. Qui est fou, je pars pas! Qu'est-ce qui est noir et qui fait "Boum! Qu'est-ce qu'un noir sur un terrain de golf? Bah un golfeur, raciste! C'est la jeune Sophie qui se rend voir M. Elle : tu reviens bien tard, hein superman? Lui : je vais t'expliquer. Lui : bon ok. Lui : euh.. Elle : c'est bon, superman. Que dois-je encore croire, superman??? Elle : parce qu'il n'y a que superman qui porte le slip par-dessus son pantalon. Les femmes ont besoin de 4 animaux: Un jaguar dans le garage Un vison dans l'armoire Un lion dans le lit..

Ne lisez pas si vous ne voulez pas lire.. Il y a une baignoire dans la remise. Roger va l'installer dans le salon. Ne risque-t-il pas de me voir prendre mon bain quand je rentre du travail? Lorsque Roger rentre le soir, Marthe lui raconte ce qu'elle a vu. Mais Roger ne la croit pas. Pourquoi poses-tu la question? Et Roger: - Oui. Peux pas manger de boeuf: vache folle Peux pas manger de poulet: grippe aviaire Peux pas manger d'oeuf: salmonellose Peux pas manger de porc Peux pas manger de poisson Cependant, au milieu de la nuit, il n'en peut plus.

Il sort de sa chambre et rejoint la jeune fille pour une nuit de folie. Puis il retourne se coucher en faisant attention de ne pas faire de bruit. Comment puis-je vous aider? Je dois seulement changer les fichiers de configuration. Il va vraiment falloir la remplacer! Une dizaine de minutes plus tard le client rappelle le technicien.

Dites-moi quelle version de DOS utilisez-vous? La meilleure voiture du monde, c'est la femme! En voici les raisons : 1. Elle demarre sans manivelle mais au doigt. Elle marche avec les sens. Elle est utilisable avec ou sans capote. On la monte sans permis. Toutes les bougies s'y adaptent. Elle se graisse automatiquement quand le gicleur est a fond. Elle se vidange tous les mois. A l'etat normal, elle fait du Bien reglee, elle fait du En cas d'incendie, elle fait le pompier. On peut la monter par devant et par derriere.

Bien gonflee, elle tient neuf mois Elle est antipollution, elle avale la fumee. Bien chauffee, bien rodee, elle tire convenablement. Elle n'use pas les routes mais les roulettes. Dans tous les pays, elle jouit d'une flatteuse reputation. Sa tenue est correcte sur autoroute, irreprochable sur biroute. Pour la garder en etat, un seul conseil : lavez.

C'est un type qui marche dans la rue et qui croise un de ses copains. Mais qu'est ce que tu transportes dans ces 2 grosses valises? Le copain d'un air las Ouvre, tu verras. Qu'est-ce que c'est que cette bestiole!!! Tu vois bien, c'est une grosse mite. Et qu'est-ce que tu as dans l'autre valise? Le type ne fait ni une ni deux, il demande : - Je voudrais un milliard!

Que vous soyez fier comme un coq, fort comme un b? Vous restez muet comme une carpe. Vous avez le bourdon, envie de verser des larmes de crocodile.

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Sans mot dire.. Il faut que tu viennes me pousser! De nouveau dans sa chambre, il se remet au lit. Son mari, pris de remords, se rhabille et descend. Il ouvre la porte et dit : -Eh mec! This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U. Amazing isn't it? Devant moi, j'ai une station de travail Un pour la changer et 5 autres six mois plus tard pour comprendre comment il a fait. Mais l'ampoule ne fonctionnera que pendant un mois. Voyage en train Un Belge monte dans un train. Nicolas, Baba est mort.

Une fois le repas fini, il prend l'os, reliquat du repas, et appelle son chien :? J'avais cru que tu avais dit papa.. Six ans : Salut, il y a du courrier? Six semaines : Qu'est-ce que tu as envie de voir? Six ans : Ce que tu es maladroite! Six semaines : Qu'est-ce que tu veux boire? Six ans : Combien la robe? Six ans : Eh, Bordel de merde S'apercevoir que le vieux jerrican pour l'huile de vidange est plein. Mettre la voiture sur chandelles. Placer une vieille casserole sous le moteur. Abandonner les recherches. Laisser tomber le bouchon de vidange dans la casserole pleine d'huile chaude.

Ranger le bordel. Un pote se pointe. Le lendemain retirer la casserole pleine d'huile de sous la voiture. Ha non merde on a tout bu hier. Aller chez Leclerc avec la voiture de Madame. Vider le premier litre d'huile neuve dans le moteur. Se nouer un chiffon sale autour des doigts. Verser les 4 litres d'huile neuve restants dans le moteur. Redescendre la voiture des chandelles. Ecraser accidentellement une des chandelles. Petit tour pour essayer la voiture. Tu n'aurais pas une combine?

Tu vas simplement entrer dans le restaurant et t'avancer vers elle. Elle est superbe! Il n'en revient pas tellement elle est belle. Le scoop du jour. Suisse A partir du C'est un "couple" en train de.. Une Portugaise arrive au poste de police : - Bonchour, je fiens me plaindre que che meu chuis fait fioler dans le buche Le policier : - Comment? Il se frotte les yeux et recommande un whisky. A peine l'a-t-il bu qu'il voit un, deux, cinq, dix puis onze nains en maillot rouge descendre a leur tour l'escalier, passer devant lui, et sortir dans la rue.

Pour les chasseurs, quelle est la ressemblance entre un chien et un renard? Y'a plus de papier de toilette ici!

Aïe Aïe Aïe !

Comment prendre sa douche comme une femme? Regardez-vous dans la glace, et sortez votre ventre pour que vous puissiez vous plaindre et pleurnicher parce que vous prenez du ventre. Allez sous la douche. Frottez-vous le visage avec un masque fait d'? Rasez-vous les aisselles et les jambes. Coupez l'eau de la douche Passez un coup de spray anti-moisissures sur les joints du bac de douche Sortez de la douche. Microsoft ne peut apparemment pas expliquer ceci!

Chacun parle de sa femme.. Je pense que ma femme me trompe avec un plombier.. Je pense que ma femme me trompe avec un cheval!!! Pouffiasse grognasse blondasse : l'origine des mots en asse? Mais on ne le dira pas parce que ce ne serait gentil pour personne. Grognasse Du verbe "grogner". Blondasse L'argot est injuste. En effet on ne dit jamais "brunasse". Ainsi on imagine assez mal ce mot dans la bouche de mettons au hasard Claudia Schiffer. Ah l'exquise chose. Et le chauffeur s'ennuie beaucoup. Famille de malades! Tu m'ouvre? Puis il repart. Notre histoire se passe lors d'un cours..

Vous devez vite vous cacher dans un sac, et si jamais un milicien inspecte rapidement votre sac, vous faire passer pour autre chose. La le professeur mime le milicien, et met un petit coup de pied dans le sac. A ce moment on entend un miaulement strident! A toi le nain.

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Cette fois le sac s'agite, et on entend plein de couinements! Des rats!!.. Bon, a toi l'orc. Le professeur s'approche, et donne son shoot. Et la, on entend une toute petite voix qui sort du sac.. Le jeune roi Arthur fut fait prisonnier par le monarque d'un royaume voisin. Et ce fut le cas. Quand il entra dans la chambre quelle surprise! Quelle forme voulait-il qu'elle prenne? Pour le jour et pour la nuit? Quelle question cruelle! Que feriez-vous? Partez pas en disant "c'est nul"! Y'a une morale! Impressionnant, non? Vous saurez!! Je n'aurais pas de soucis.

Alors elle la remonte et tout, cette fois ci en utilisant le manuel Et rebelote! A peine a t'elle fini qu'un bus passe et renverse l'armoire! Le mari n'en croit pas ses yeux, embrasse sa femme et ouvre l'armoire tout grande. Vous me croyez si je vous dis que j'attends le bus? C'est un mec qui est sur le Titanic, durant le naufrage. A cause de ce handicap, les hommes avaient peur d'elle. Que pouvait-il faire pour l'aider?

Il consulta alors ses scientifiques et ses magiciens. Chaque homme doit apporter un objet qui ne fondra pas entre les doigts de la princesse? Elle le prit dans sa main. Et rien ne fondit! Jolie Histoire non? Et vous ne vous posez pas la question, quelle question? Il y avait un? Il fond dans la bouche, pas dans la main. Tu sais, l'avocat. C'est une bonne raison pour venir travailler. Encourage les cagnotes et la participation. Augmente les chances de voir ton patron nu. Ils installent leur tente et se couchent.

Astrologiquement, cela me dit que Saturne est en Verseau. Pour l'heure, je dirais qu'il est 4 heures du matin. Il reprend : - Quoi, qu'est-ce que j'ai dit de mal? Il est faux de penser que les femmes ne savent pas garder un secret. Un peu d'anglais pour le plaisir! To: IT Dept. Hi Guys, I came in today Monday to finish up a project I was working on before our big meeting with a potential client tomorrow, and I noticed that there were three or four large air conditioners running the entire time I was here. With all the power that all those big computers in that room use, I doubt it is really eco-friendly to run those big units at the same time.

I'm sure you guys can deal with it being warm for an hour or two when you come in tomorrow morning. In the future, let's try to be a little more conscientious of our energy usage. Status of Employee who sent the above e-mail: Terminated. On ne dira pas : T'as un p'tit zizi Mais : Et c'est quoi ton truc pour faire rire les filles?

On ne dira pas : T'as de plus en plus de rides.. Ce qui ne fait pas les affaires de notre gars. Un beau jour, alors qu'il scrutait l'horizon machinalement, il voit quelque chose flotter. Je vous dois tout. Dites-moi ce que je peux faire pour vous? Le matin le bourreau vint les chercher dans leur cellule et les amena dans la cour. Que faire? Dans 1 min 13s il va nous rattraper Elle et toutes les autres s?

Et alors? Oh, ma s? Quelle horreur Une soeur avec la jupe en haut court plus vite qu'un gars avec les pantalons aux chevilles! Je vais donc vous laisser une chance. Le surlendemain ils retournent devant le juge qui leur demande : - Alors, combien de jeunes avez-vous convaincus? Tu n'iras pas en prison! Comment as-tu fait? Trois hommes rentrent dans l'appartement, puis quatre personnes en sortent. Au bout de 24 heures, on va voir ce qu'il sont devenus. Admettons que Ils voient un mouton noir sur le bord de la route.

On dit qu'ils ont le pied marin. En bref, rien n'indique a priori qu'il soit un terroriste potentiel. Saviez-vous qu'en - le 1er Mai est un samedi.. Qui se fiche de savoir pourquoi? La fin en soi de traverser la route justifie tout motif quel qu'il soit. BILL GATES : Nous venons justement de mettre au point le nouveau "Poulet Office ", qui ne se contentera pas seulement de traverser les routes, mais couvera aussi des oeufs, classera vos dossiers importants, etc.

Les routes, quand il veut il les traverse. Moi et ma femme Bernadette Chirac n'avons pu traverser cette route ce qui est fort probable que ce poulet soit plus intelligent que moi. Extraits de rapports authentiques On rigole, mais on ne se moque pas. Une femme est seule dans un compartiment lorsqu'un monsieur vient s'asseoir en face d'elle. Alors la dame: - Tiens, c'est marrant, vous n'avez pas du tout le type. Il n'a qu'une oreille. Merde alors.. Il en sait rien du tout si ce suspect porte ou non des lentilles de contact..

Je n'en reviens pas. C'est VRAI!! Il porte bien des lentilles de contact!! Comment as-tu fait?????? Ils ont un enfant. Chez E. Motifs : 1. Il suggera de retourner le message.. Elle : vas-y sauvagement! Lui : Oui, Oui, Elle : Continue! Lui : Oui, Oui! Elle : Ne sois pas timide Lui : Oui! Elle : Montre que tu es un homme! Lui : Oui! Elle : Dis-moi des choses sales! Lui : la cuisine, la salle de bain, le salon, la bagnole La vie informatique Les abeilles les fleurs les choux la p'tite graine..

Nous sommes alors partis prendre un verre et manger ensemble. Il engage une lutte violente avec le crocodile. Vous voulez ma Rolex alors? West Coast quand tu nous tiens.

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Alice de Jode. Non Il rit. De quoi parle exactement le titre Jailhouse Talk? Ils ne peuvent pas car Johnny est en prison pour meurtre. Ils sont tellement habiles et intelligents, musicalement parlant. Pouvu que ce soient elles qui restent. Serait-ce Godzilla? Ca grouillait de monde et une sorte de bruit permanent arrivait de toute part. Quelles influences la ville a-t-elle eu sur ton disque? Trey et Matthew E. Je pense que tout le monde les aime, non? Ils obtiennent peu mais travaillent comme des dingues. Je ne pourrais jamais me torturer ainsi aussi longtemps. Je lui. Il y a eu beaucoup de discussions, mais pas de vrais liens naissant avec la plupart des gens que je rencontrais.

A Nashville, tout le monde fait de la musique, mais personne ne prend le temps de soigner les choses. Mais parfois, je vais chercher des mots ailleurs. Pour It Is You, je voulais emmener les gens dans des endroits oniriques. Oh mon dieu, oui. McGee et ses camarades pour le label donne le ton. A bon entendeur…. Pour notre plus grand bonheur. Une conversation. Tu prends ce que tu veux. Quand il est mort ce fut un choc. Jeff, oui. Avec un grand M. Tout Rires! Il est bon de le rappeler de temps en temps. Textes et propos recueillis par Ariel Carol Novak. Photographies : Justine Tellier, pour Crumb magazine.

Autant dire que je ne savais pas de quoi elle. Tout le monde le pratique plus ou moins dans sa chambre ou sa salle de bain. Et tu es champion du monde de la discipline… Oui! Champion du monde et ! Ah non! Restons humble. En fait, on est un. Finalement, tu as le meilleur job du monde, non? On se fait suffisamment chier dans la vie, non? Non plus! Ou seulement sur une photo. Pas plus. Il faut avoir un style qui tue, tout miser sur le costume.

De qui parles-tu? Il y a des gens qui nous suivent. Comment est le vrai Gunther dans la vraie vie? En fait, un peu comme maintenant. Et surtout de plaisir! Il doit y avoir une raison. Je les pense comme des toiles de fond pour drame,. Ou avez-vous besoin de vous sentir chez vous? Je ne pense pas que ce serait le cas. Je me suis toujours senti un peu en dehors de tout. Ce sont des choix simples.

Souhaitez-vous parler de la part mystique de votre musique? Donc on devient artiste ou musicien par manque de religion? Il y a un an et demi. Moins on parle de vous, mieux vous travaillez? Je pense, oui. A nos chansons. Mais les. Peter Bjorn, ndlr , lui, est un ami de longue date. Mais les choses risquent bien de changer.

Bravo la France! Ou pas? Lisez-donc pour mieux comprendre…. Lauren : Club-mate?! On essaie. On y jouait toute la nuit. Et les gens aiment vraiment la musique. En tout cas, je ne pense pas. Je pense au travail de la voix notamment. On le place au-dessus de la technique. On aime la musique qui parle aux gens. Augustin : Non, je ne pense pas. Antoine : Moi et ma femme. Comment travailles-tu pour reproduire tes influences graphiques dans les textes?

Antoine : Tu as senti une influence graphique dans les textes?

Table of contents

Antoine : Exactement. Antoine : Pas pour le moment. On teste des trucs. Myxomatosis, de Radiohead. Je travaille avec The Avener. The Avener avait. Elle enregistre un premier album, For Kenny. Mais tu le fais avec des hommes qui ont la cinquantaine, alors que tu es une adolescente. Au moins le redevenir. Je revenais tout juste de Berlin. Je ne voulais pas en apprendre trop. Je lavais les cheveux de ces gens alors que je voulais juste faire de la musique. Je la trouvais tellement belle, je voulais faire de la coiffure pour lui ressembler!

Mais qui sont-ils donc? Chacun faisait sa musique, ses photos, ses images. Patrick faisait du beatbox. Je veux parler des textes, parce que Lorent vient. Lorent : tout sourire Merci! Lorent : Pas vraiment. Nous ne sommes pas vraiment un groupe de studio. Lorent : Totalement. En Colombie par exemple, personne ne se pose de questions.

Patrick : Je marchais dans les rues en leggings et les. Lorent : Au Canada aussi, tu peux te maquiller ou te promener nu, personne ne te calcule. Or un artiste ne peut pas tout expliquer. Aux U. Avec un besoin de dire des choses? Par militantisme? Lorent : Dans mon cas non. Lorent : Exactement. Patrick : Non mais je te jure. Et puis, plus tard, de la chanson : Brassens, Boby Lapointe, je me rappelle encore des textes. Cet album reste le number one.

Finalement, on est un groupe graphique! Patrick : Oui! Patrick : Damien-Jean rires. Robin Thicke. Photographie Enzo Addi. Pourquoi as-tu choisi le nom Hollysiz? Je trouvais que cela sonnait bien. Comme quoi? Ca a pris du temps. Le studio aussi. Tu parlais de ton envie de faire de la musique autour de toi? Il faut le temps de rentrer dans un album. Il y en a plein. Les renouveaux musicaux partent souvent de chez eux. Et je dois avouer un petit faible un peu moins pointu pour Bruno Mars. Cela vaut aussi certainement pour ton parcours. Propos recueillis et textes : Lucie Rico. Son premier album, Zanaka, est sorti le 6 novembre dernier.

Pas facile, au vu de son parcours atypique.

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Qui est Jain? Elle concerne les gens qui nous entourent. Un peu de tout. Il y a pas mal de hip-hop mais aussi des chansons africaines et musiques traditionnelles. Comment composes-tu? Car chez moi, tout part souvent dans tous les sens. Quel rapport entretien-tu avec internet? Est-ce que tu aimerais un jour collaborer avec certains artistes? France et sur Paris en particulier. Je crois que cela suit tout simplement ma vie. Un peu comme un voyage. Vous composez, jouez, arrangez, chantez.

Est-ce un hommage? Je racontais cette histoire au premier album. Il y avait Kate Bush, Joni Mitchell, aussi. Il faut juste se donner le temps pour bien diriger son objectif et au moins essayer. Nous avons simplement fait un seul concert pour Franky Knight. Ma musique lui a plu. Il a voulu produire un album sur-le-champ. Je parle de celle du public.

Il rappelle aux gens qui je suis. Pas vraiment le hasard. Tu baignes dans la musique depuis toute petite. Il cherchait justement une chanteuse. Et ton rapport aux sixties? Je parlais de jukebox personnel… Oui! Pendant le premier E. Je ne sais pas encore avec qui je vais travailler. Et puis, la mode a un aspect sociologique. Ce serait qui? On risque de livrer au public un format coffret et un format plus classique, avec 11 ou 12 titres ou Je ne sais pas si je garderais toutes les chansons, notamment les reprises. Est-ce que tout cela me rend heureuse? Avec un ami. Comme un message personnel.

Quand je vois des gens ici en France qui se plaignent pour des choses superficielles, je trouve cela assez injuste. Le classique aussi. Je la sens.

Nexte 2 - Le Monde à L'Envers

Quel genre de classique? La musique classique a un pouvoir en plus par rapport aux autres musiques. Parlez nous de ces voyages. Comment abordez-vous votre relation avec le public? Eye Signal de Jon Hopkins. Pourquoi avoir choisi Cavalier comme premier titre extrait, pour promouvoir votre album? Tout ce que je fais est personnel. Elle est en train de travailler dessus. Le temps manquait, alors nous ne nous sommes pas assis. Car je ne sais jamais vraiment ce que je joue. Alors, en attendant, en effet, je tapote dessus! Du moins pour moi. Je crois. Devant un public? Cette chanson parle de cela.

Keep Your Head Up est la plus ancienne. De la musique et de la ride. After having scored a 9. Traveller, passionate by surf videos and famous for his colourful wetsuits, he will be one of the ones to watch in By Laurie Cassagnes. After cover thousands of kilometres and overcome jet lag, where are you today? I was in Western Australia at the start of the week, and now in Bali. Can you present yourself for the people who might not know you?

My name is Nic von Rupp. My life consists of chasing the world Tour of surfing and filming the best biggest waves our world has to offer. When did you start to chase the waves for the first time and where did that need come from? I grew up on the beach. As a highly active kid I was always having fun in the waves with skimboards, bodyboards, until time came where I stepped up to the real deal. I must have been around 9 when i started getting into surfing. That was it, my first love, never looked back ever since. There is some pay checks involved straight away, but I only really felt professional at 17 when I got 5th in the World Juniors in Australia.

Last year Nike gave us the chance to choose the colours of our wetsuits. I did get a little excited and accidentally put all fluoro colours on all the wetsuits. It was alright for carnival time, but I had to surf in it all year. I do have to admit it was an embarrassing year of surfing … Aha!

It really has pushed surfing to the next level. Which one of all competitions you did marks your memory the most and why? Probably market me the most so far, it was the. It was like from being an average school boy to becoming 2nd in the European Pro junior tour and then becoming 5th at the World Juniors against the best in the world.

Good memories… Your best wave? Probably this year at the most feared Pipeline in Hawaii, I got a 9. On the internet we can more watch you than read you. Do you prefer to appear in video to talk about and show what you do? Surfing as the interesting visual side that the surfing community really enjoys watching videos of their favourite surfers giving their best moves. Do you spend all your time to search for the most beautiful waves or you sometimes try to challenge the snow, the wind or the tar?

I like to ask one thing. How many continents did you lay your feet on and which culture that you felt the closest to? But what I can say is I lay feet on every continent at least 1 time a year. What type of music or artist do you listen? I read books, Facebook, I listen to music …I like everything, house music, rap, groovy stuff, rock… What are your upcoming projects in the next few months? What are your objectives for in terms of results? Win some some big WQS Events!

Christian McLeods passion has led him to explore places around cold and rainy Ireland. He spends his days between finishing college and exploring his lands. CRUMB catches up with the youngster to ask about the technical aspects of shooting in the water, his gear and craziest stories.

Christian, where are you right now and what was the last thing you did before we started this interview? I would love to say something crazy like climbing a volcano or something, but in all honesty, I just got home from college. Tell us about your background, where are you from? When did you first discover an interest in photography and did surf photography kick in?

So naturally, I picked them up and started investigating, tearing them apart and taking photos etc… Then I grabbed my own semi-old digital camera and started bringing it to college. A lot of sneaking by Lecturers with my small camera bag had to be done, and it grew into an addiction. From there, I think it was about 5 weeks and I took it with me on a little surf to a local spot, and took a couple snaps, showed them to a friend who said I should send them to Tonnta, the Irish surf magazine. Three weeks later it was published as a double page spread I still have the copy on my desk!

It was so surreal. Even after I had that image published it was still just a hobby, a fun outlet to pass the time after class. I like engineering and would have no problem working in that industry, but this is my love. Is there any particular camera that you like to use the most? Where was your last shoot? What did you do there and what did you bring back from it? What is or has been your favourite location to shoot? Do you prefer to shoot from land or in the water?

There have been so many beautiful places! Norway was one that really sticks out in my mind, but then again Ireland just has so many amazing landscapes, not many countries can compete. I have no preference, to land or water, when it comes to photography, it completely depends on the waves and the landscape. However on a personal note, I love being in the water more than sitting on dry land. Has the ocean always been a huge part of your life? First time I remember seeing the sea was when I was 7, in California, and I was only driving by on the way to the airport.

I started surfing when I was 15 and from there my love grew for the ocean. You spend a lot of time in the ocean with dangerous currents and house highwaves. I remember i so vividly. I was swimming with my housing, and trying to get a different angle moving closer to the end bowl and sneaking just over the edge each time. Jack Johns dropped into this massive barrel and I started to smile, pulling the trigger I knew I had something special and I just made it over that wave and over the next wave aswel.

It seemed like there was a brief lull, so I started taking a couple shots of the landscape and I hear this whistle, and a few hoots and hollars. I look and the jet skis are way out in the channel, and the surfers and way out to sea. I never felt my gut drop like that in my whole life. I got pulled deeper from the rip and closer to the cliffs, and.

I thought I was gonna make it, dove under the wave, popped up, kept my head down and kept swimming, knowing there would be another one, and boy was I right. A massive 15ft set wave was already starting to break out the back and I had the slimest chance of making it. I swam as hard as I could with my 1Kg waterhousing and my little legs.

It suddenly felt like I was about to make it, the feeling of raising t the surface out the back. Then, I felt this thump and heard the sound of crushing ice. I was immediately thrown and felt as if I just jumped off a giant ledge, then another pounding. I eventually came up and took a breath of air to see the next wave break ahead, and white water heading towards me. I made it fine under that, apart from the feeling of my foot being caught on kelp.

I started to panic and started shaking my leg, and finally made it free and up to the surface again. Got washed out to the channel and started to kick when I realised my fin was gone, which I later figured out was shaken off by myself in the panic of the attack of the seaweed. Everything worked out fine. Which other surfers have you already photographed?

Do you know them or they ask you to come with them? I know quite alot of the Irish and British surfers and have shot with them on a variety of swells. I find it such an honor that they find my work good enough for them to ask. If my work can stoke someone out, it makes me happy. The business and the sport has changed over the last years. In your opinion what are the biggest changes that surf photography is confronted with currently?

This is great for broadcasters, newspapers, journalists with their iPhones but pretty bad for photographers. I am not. Saying this, the growth of social media has helped so many photographers and artists like myself to show their work to the world and let people enjoy it, instead of it collecting digital dust on an overpriced hard drive. I love you and hate you social media. In terms of self-marketing and social media, several of your photographs have been regrammed by the Red Bull Instagram account.

Do you think that the influence of these kinds of brands helped you? With which brands are you in collaboration now? I love spreading the stoke. At the moment? Typing out my Thesis for college. Surfing, sending emails or spending time with my girlfriend in no particular order. Music my good friend. The band MEW have always been a great travel companion to me, always in m ear reminding me of old adventures.

Nothing beats a little old school jazz either… Finally, what does the future hold for you and your work and where do you see yourself in five years from now? But saying that, I see myself traveling and spreading my adventures and working with the best brands and magazines across the world, no question about it! Have you got any projects up your sleeve? Any last word?

You will see. Thanks to my Mom for bringing me to the ocean, and all the people and companies who have helped me stay at the ocean. He makes average waves look good, he makes powerful waves look soft and impossible tube time look easy. Everything is second nature to him.

Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition) Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition)
Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition) Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition)
Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition) Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition)
Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition) Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition)
Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition) Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition)
Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition) Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition)
Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition) Lenvers du milieu (Les derniers elfes vides t. 2) (French Edition)

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